I know that. Yet somehow I can't help thinking of every little simply scary thing in life that could possibly in any tiny way have impacted Miles and now could impact our second child...and if it possibly could be bad (even if that's just in my mind) then I don't do it.
In short, I'm psycho...but I hide it fairly well, I like to think. Constantly I worry that I am responsible for doing every little thing right--all while feeling helpless as I lack true control over actually ensuring the health of our baby girl. There's nothing I can do, yet I obsess over every little thing and am SO careful.
The complete list feels endless I'm afraid, but I'll share a sampling of things that I've done differently during this pregnancy for the baby's health (and my own sanity).
Top Ten "New" Rules of Pregnancy for Me10. No heart rate higher than 140 bpm. Therefore, no running...just walking on an incline on the treadmill.
9. Move to another part of the gym when the cleaning man comes close to my machine. Leave the gym if I still feel I am in the range of chemicals.
8. Avoid bathroom cleaning products for the first trimester. Yes, this reveals how long our bathroom went without being cleaned.
7. No clorox bathroom cleaning products ever again. I've switched over to "green" ones with only a few chemicals on the labels. I wear gloves and clean the least often as possible (just for guests and un-ignorable grime).
6. No Ipod hooked onto the waistband of my shirts (only permissible to hook it on the top of my tshirt)
5. Give up coffee.
4. Give up chocolate soy milk.
3. Refuse to ever put computer on my lap.
2. No pedicures.
1. No microwave. It sat unplugged on the floor for months until Mitch asked if we were ever going to use it again. When I said no, he got rid of it.
And of course there's the "appropriately react to all potentially harmful situations" rule. Thus the time I had an anxiety attack after I broke a high efficiency lightbulb and read the label that there is mercury in the damn things...Mitch put a mask on me, I evacuated the apartment, he cleaned up the mess, and we spent the night at my parents' house.
The truth is that these things, just like all the other things that I'm not admitting to doing/not doing this time around, are totally fine for pregnant women (according to more reliable sources of medical information than I am) so please don't think I'm judging. I'm just not a typical pregnant woman any more--a psycho pregnant woman would be one way to put it now, but, in all fairness, I feel it's fairly reasonable to be so in my case.
With this pregnancy, my number one goal is for the baby to be healthy. And after that goal, if possible, it would be nice to be a sane person as well.